It seems like every week I get another wedding invitation in the mail, now that spring is getting closer. I want to be so happy for my friends, and so excited for them, but its hard when I'm so jealous...
I'm jealous because they are getting married, having amazing weddings, moving into new houses with their husbands, then having kids... It seems when people do it that way, people are more excited for them, and more involved in their lives.
I feel like the girl who did it the "wrong way", like no one even pays attention to me, or how I feel.
Sometimes I feel like I don't even want to go to their weddings because it will just make me sad..and I know that is horrible!!! I love these people, they are my friends, why would I not be happy, that they are happy??? I have no idea!
Also, it doesn't help, when horrible, rude, evil people say horrible things, like call me an "uneducated, unwed Mother", (yes, BRANDON'S EX GIRLFRIEND CALLED ME THAT.) It just makes my heart sink into my stomach, Am I really that BAD of a person?? I'm sorry, I wasn't planning on Mason...I wasn't planning on NOT going back to school. I definetly wasn't planning on NOT being married when I had a child... So why do people say horrible things about me, like I did plan all of this??
I just want to be happy for my friends who are doing the right thing....not jealous.. I am praying for strength...
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2 comments:
Amanda,
To be jealous is simply human nature. If you think about it. Brandons ex and who ever else is saying bad things about you is saying them because they are jealous of you. You have Brandon and she doesnt. You and Brandon have a beautiful baby boy and maybe that was a dream of hers. You have to learn not to take some of the rude, immature, and jealous comments that are made to heart. I know it is much easier said then done but trust me, when you worrying about what anyone else has to say about you, you are almost cheating the family you have. You let it put you in a mad mood and depress you and that can cause strain and stress on a relationship. Now when Ian and I first got together and married and all of that his ex Kayla was constantly talking bad about me. Saying that I was jealous of her because she was having Ians son and I wasnt, saying I was a whore, and all kinds of stuff. Even his ex from like 6 years ago says mean things about me. To me that is just proving that what I have (which is Ian) is an amazing thing. Two of his ex's are still so in love with them that they have to hate me for having what they cant. I have learned to ignore it and laugh it off. There is nothing you can do or say to change there opinion of you. All you can do is be happy and laugh in there face because what was once theres is now yours and that will never change. When you show that these rediculous people are getting to you, you are allowing them to "win". They feel better about themselves because they know or they think they are ruining your happiness. If you show them that it doesnt bother you they will eventually give up. When they get no satisfaction out of it then they will stop. Kayla refuses to allow Ian to do a paternity test and be this childs father that she is claiming him to be. But to everyone one else she is telling them that he is not being a father to his child because I will not allow him to be because I am jealous of her, because I think he will end up back with her, and so many other rediculous acusations. I just laugh. I know the truth. I know that I have done nothing but encourage Ian to try and get his rights and be that little boys father. I know that I have been as nice as I possibly could have been to her. Yet she has been nasty to me. We will both have to stand before God one day and when He asks her why she acted the way she did she will have to answer to God. I will not fear that conversation when I am in heaven. You just have to remember that. Brandons ex will have to face God one day and explain herself to him. As long as you stay in the right and you dont fight back with more immature words and you live your life not worrying about her and speaking bad about her God will bless you. It will all get better!! Love you
hey amanda,
dont worry about his ex she is just jealous that you got what she wanted! and you did nothing wrong. am having a baby to befor i am married in my church. there is nothing wrong about that. so dont feel bad!!i know at first i did to but my paster told me "god would not have let this happen if he knew i was not strong enough to handle it."
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