My First Sewing Machine!!

Today my wonderful Father bought me my very first Singer sewing machine!! I have already done a baby blanket for Mason (I will post a pic soon!) and I got the pattern for a cute tote bag and the fabric for it today at Hancock Fabrics.
It was so funny seeing my Dad walking around Hancock Fabric carrying around fabrics for me and getting them measured! Both of us were totally clueless in there, but all the lovely people shopping helped us out!
I am starting sewing classes on February 9th!! I am totally excited :)
This is a pic of my first tote bag I sewed the other day!! It isn't perfect, but it's a start!

Reaching & Grabbing

Mason is now reaching and grabbing his toys!!! So exciting to watch him hit all his milestones, and watch him grow everyday!! I just LOVE it :)

2 month old Shots Today!

Mason got his 2 month old shots today, and exactly 2 months ago today, he was born!! Yay! I was freaking out, and praying to God for Him to give me the strength to be strong for Mason if he started hysterically crying, or if I could tell he was in pain..It's hard enough doing everything by myself. When you throw in shots for my baby..not good!! haha
So, while Mason and I waited for Dr. Guerkink, I prayed that Mason would not feel any pain, and that I wouldn't either. She came in with needle in hand! I asked if I could hold him while she stuck him, and she said of course. She gave him the shot, and not even a wimper came from him!!! He was just steady sucking his bo bo (pacifier)!! So, I thank God for Mason really not feeling any pain today!!!!!

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"You see a smile on the outside, but I am fading on the inside..."

Grandaddy & Mason

I left Mason with my Dad for all of 20 minutes tonight, and this is what happened...haha For those of you who know my Dad, you will totally know this is something only he would do!

Mason & His Daddy!

Mason is infactuated with his Daddy when he comes into town, Mason is like "Mommy who?" haha I got this precious video of Mason "talking" to Brandon, telling him all about his day...

Brandon's Birthday Celebration!

Saturday night we went to Yamato for dinner to celebrate Brandon's 24th birthday, like we have done for the past 3 years. We had so much fun seeing everyone that we have not seen in what feels like forever! Brandon and I, Alisha and Cal, Jen and Scott, Thomas and Mere, Jason and Damiano all came! Thank you all for making Brandon's birthday so special! We love you :)

Thanks Aunt Cindi & Uncle Dan!

Mason's Aunt Cindi & Uncle Dan bought him the CUTEST Polo Ralph Lauren outfit, and it is for a 6 month old, but Mason fits in it now at 2 months old!! And he looks sooo cute, I had to post a picture of it, and to tell The Hennigans Thank You! We love you so much :)

Mason's First Snow :)

Today, we had our great South Carolina snow, of a couple centimeters!! Yay! haha I absolutely HATE the snow, but decided to take Mason out to see it. After I bundled him up, we went outside, and he enjoyed it! Me, not so much...haha

Baby Caden!

My friends Jen & Scott had their baby December 30th, exactly a month apart from Mason! His name is Caden Anthony, and he is PRECIOUS! We had a little play date today, and we had so much fun with Aunt Lindsey, Jen, Scott, and the babies :)

Happy Birthday Daddy/Brandon!!

It is Brandon's 24th birthday today! He is in Boone, so we are sad we can't spend time with him on his birthday. But, he will be here Thursday, and we are going to celebrate Saturday night :) We can't wait to see you!!

Regan & Mason

Brett and Michelle are close family friends, and they have a baby girl named Regan! She just turned 4 in October, and she is the sweetest girl I know ;) and she LOVES "her" Mason!!! and Mason LOVES her!
Michelle, Samantha, Stevie and Regan came over last night to visit with Baby Mason, and he was a little fussy :( As soon as Regan came over and talked to him, he cheered right up! Of course, Regan wanted a picture with her Mason, and wanted to see it after wards! haha

Big Boy!

I'm thinking Mason is a future quarterback for USC (or maybe Appalchian State haha) considering he weighs 14lbs, and isn't even 7 weeks old yet!!! :)

Bad day...

It seems like every week I get another wedding invitation in the mail, now that spring is getting closer. I want to be so happy for my friends, and so excited for them, but its hard when I'm so jealous...
I'm jealous because they are getting married, having amazing weddings, moving into new houses with their husbands, then having kids... It seems when people do it that way, people are more excited for them, and more involved in their lives.
I feel like the girl who did it the "wrong way", like no one even pays attention to me, or how I feel.
Sometimes I feel like I don't even want to go to their weddings because it will just make me sad..and I know that is horrible!!! I love these people, they are my friends, why would I not be happy, that they are happy??? I have no idea!
Also, it doesn't help, when horrible, rude, evil people say horrible things, like call me an "uneducated, unwed Mother", (yes, BRANDON'S EX GIRLFRIEND CALLED ME THAT.) It just makes my heart sink into my stomach, Am I really that BAD of a person?? I'm sorry, I wasn't planning on Mason...I wasn't planning on NOT going back to school. I definetly wasn't planning on NOT being married when I had a child... So why do people say horrible things about me, like I did plan all of this??
I just want to be happy for my friends who are doing the right thing....not jealous.. I am praying for strength...

Rice Cereal!!!

Mason's first taste of rice cereal :)
Sorry it's kind of dark!

Ann Coulter!!

Ann Coulter is a woman I totally look up to!! She never backs down from what she believes in, and I love her for that :)
This is a clip from her appearance on the Today show. I believe in everything she says, no one likes hearing the facts or the truth!

Sad day...

I'm feeling really sad today, I think maybe more so than other days because Brandon left today after being here for about a month. I feel so blessed that we had this time together, all three of us, but it just made it worse for him to leave today.
I just watched Mason lay his head on his shoulder, and grab on to his shirt, and thought I feel the same way Mason, "let's not let him leave!", I wish it was that easy, where a hug and a tug on his shirt would make everything different, and make it able for him to stay :)

I don't think I'm having any postpartum depression, because I have absolutely no bad thoughts of Mason, or resentment of Mason, anything to do with the baby. Just myself, really.. I think that many people struggle with changes after their baby is born.. I feel like I have just had SO many changes within the last couple months on top of Mason being here, it has just all piled up into one big thing for me.

I feel like I can't even sleep sometimes, because I am literally thinking of every bad choice I have made, every change that has happened, are all the bottles washed?, is the laundry done?, have I even eaten today?, is Mason okay?, Am I okay? Ugh! It gets overwhelming!!

Sometimes I just find myself so out of it from lack of sleep, and anxiety, that it's hard for me to even show emotion.. Totally not like me! I have a doctor appointment tomorrow, for my 6 week check-up, so maybe the doctor will do something for me (besides tell me I'm crazy!) haha

My precious boys.....

Brandon leaves Sunday to go back to Boone, I know Mason and I will miss him terribly. I feel so blessed that he got to be able to stay here with us for his whole winter break though :)
Our time together means so much! I just can't wait until he graduates!! Only 11 more months.
I just will miss these moments, where Brandon and Mason are snuggled up next to each other. Or, when all three of us are snuggled up at bedtime. Brandon & Mason you are my world!!

A Sweet Friend...

So many friends have been helping me through this little "rough patch" I am going through, they have given me so many words of encouragement, and love. I truly feel God has sent them my way to help me!
My friend Ashley sent me this bible verse to help me, and I wanted to post it, because it has helped me so much...Thank you Ashley, you are an amazing woman, and so beautiful, I love you!

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love...he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities, For as high as the heavens are above the earth so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our trangressions from us." Psalms 103:8-12


Now I better understand how my choices will never make God love me any less...

I do feel undeserving of His love for my choices right now, but I know God's grace will help me through this...and sweet friends like Ashley, Laura, Jen, Lindsey, and Alisha who have taken time out of their lives to make me feel better :) I love you all.

Feeling a little down...

I feel so blessed to have such a precious healthy son, and Brandon here to help me.
But, I always wanted that "perfect" life, I mean, I know no one can have a truly perfect life. But, I wanted a life that would be perfect for me.
I wanted to finish college, get married, then have kids..just like everyone does!
I never wanted to be the girl I am now... I have not finished college, I have a newborn, I'm living at home with my parents (which I'm so greatful in how they have helped me) and I'm not married.. I have made so many bad choices, and all I can think of is "Is Mason going to be ashamed of me?", "will he think I am a bad person because I had sex before marriage, and his Mother and Father are not married?", Will he think "My Mom isn't as good as other Moms?", and it hurts me that I have these thoughts...
I just want to be the best Mother possible to Mason, and I feel like I'm not being a good Mother, because I have not made good choices in the past...I know that seems crazy, but that's how I feel..
Everyday I think about when I have to face God, and explain to him my bad desicions, the decision to disobey my parents, and not finish school, and the desicion to have sex before marriage, and now being a Mother, and not being married..And I think about how am I going to explain that to God??
I have asked for forgivness, but has God really forgiven me? I know that is a sin, to even ask that.. but I wonder..
Will Mason love me when he's old enough to understand all my bad choices I've made? This is a battle I face everyday...

Just Chillin...

This is Mason's new sleeping position...we call it "just chillin"!!
It's so funny, when I catch myself just watching him sleep, and thinking of what a miracle he is!!! I never thought I could love someone as much as I love my son! :) It has made me feel soo much of a stronger bond with Brandon also! I just love my boys so much!

Mason & Cocky!

Today, Grandaddy brought home a humungous Cocky (USC's mascot)for Mason, it is literally about 5 times the size of him!
We can't wait for football season to start back up! Go Cocks!!!!!!

Kisses from Mommy :)

Mason loooooves kisses from everyone!!!! (or I think he just tolerates them) haha!

Trip to Augusta..

So, Saturday we had to go to Augusta to get the tag off of Brandon's Honda that he sold last week.
We decided we would all go, so we packed Mason up and off we went! Mason slept the whole way there. He woke up to eat once we got there, then after 2 dirty diapers (trying to changed them while its raining!) and then spitting up everywhere in the carseat, we got the tag. Then headed home! Mason did great! :)

The best $20 ever spent!!!

Brandon and I saw this nursing pillow the other day, while we were getting diapers and formula, and it looked soo neat! It was only $20, so we grabbed it!
Mason LOVES it!!! Brandon loves it because he can feed Mason in it, and multi-task at the same time because you still have one free hand, haha. I love it because he sleeps amazing in it at nap times during the day..AND in the middle of the night, when you are soooo tired, you can pop him in that, and feed him and still lay down!! I highly recommend one of these for an infant..



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